I'm sure there's a couple of guys out there that will nod in silence when they read on. You know when your girlfriend asks you to go with her into a shop that sells womens clothes? I've always felt incredibly inadiquate these stores.
That fear came up in me again today, when a friend and I browsed around SL for a new skin. There were a sign saying "Males staring at girls trying out skins, or hitting on the girls, will be kicked out immediately!". I had already brought my cursor down to the bottom of the screen almost anticipating some raised eyebrows from the female audience around me, when i remembered that my male genetials was'nt present.
I felt for a moment, like I was a little boy again sneaking into my dads toolbox even though i was'nt allowed. Or the time at school when i was only seven years old mistaking the "L" on a bathroom-door for "Lads", instead of Ladies - and a girl 2 classes above me reminded me that I picked the wrong room at the top of her lungs.
But as with my dads toolbox, i started feeling really good all of a sudden. And no, for once, this is not the perverted sort of good feeling that i keep joking about. I remember the joy i felt like it was yesterday, that he actually permitted me to take a look in his toolbox. Not only that, i could borrow his hammer if I wanted to. I was becoming a man.
That's how i feel still, when i walk in and shop, casually talking with the other girls trying on demos. Like I'm exclusively permitted. That I'm actually allowed. Though the sense that i should'nt be there still itches the back of my head.
More of these weird situatins include when girls strike up conversations with me, saying "Hey sweetie". Natural instinct is to react with a smile on my lips, ready to write back some flirty remark - but that would'nt do of course.
The best of the best thing, is that you don't have to have an opinion on anything to get by. "Oh, i don't know" is a legimate answer to literaly everything a guy throws at you. You can just answer it, and they'll maybe nag you ONE more time, if they got the balls. Not like "us" damn girls that keep asking questions, and does'nt stop before they get the answer they want to hear, or realize that the guy just won't bulge.
Of course, that's not always so. Anyways....
I haven't slept all night, right now I'm looking for a live-concert in SL that will do my Avatar good. At this point i don't really care if it's chilling ambient, or skull-grinding death metal or punk - as long as i can find something a bit more inspiring to listen to, than the usual DJs out there. This is proving very hard, very difficult indeed.
Next, i will write about sex.
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